Monday, October 20, 2014

Pre-Text


I think this journal will serve to be a positive resource for me in the future. I’ve always noticed how I have so many thoughts and I plan to use this in order to document some of them. I think I should start off with a little information about my life currently. My home is in Salem, Massachusetts; a lovely little community. I’m glad to be in a place like this where people are able to live Puritan lives far away from persecution back in Europe, though some people are haunted by the thought that they are still persecuted. Let me clarify that we are perfectly safe to practice out religion here. We in Salem are a small town and we share the same beliefs and so far it’s been working out fine for us.
                The town’s main focus is obviously Puritanism and staying faithful and committed to our religion. If anything is nearly as important to that, it would be reputation. I used to consider myself a pretty respectable person and I would pride myself on that. I think my integrity may have been the main reason my wife, Elizabeth, fell in love with me. I love that Salem is motivated in maintaining strong sense of community. It wouldn’t be a bad life to own a farm here and have a family, for I could see myself living happily here for a while.
                Yes, I do believe that this Puritan way of life is very suitable for me. The only flaw that prevents me personally from being content is a dark time of my past. I have made some decisions that I regret greatly, yet Puritanism is not providing me with a way to get passed it. Confessions of such actions would be slaughtering my own name and reputation... I could not just confess to committing adultery, for I would be ruined in the society. Being completely unsure of how to handle this all I can do is pray. I really couldn’t help it at the time. All I want is to be rid of this guilt. And Elizabeth, poor Elizabeth, I wish I could undo what I have done for her sake. She deserves much better than that from me.
                I have always been loyal until that and I try to tell myself that it doesn’t totally define me, although if it went public I would undoubtedly be condemned within the community. Now that I am contemplating this society I am starting to realize that it is parochial.  Maybe I am the only one to recognize this. I just hope and pray that this fault doesn’t end up causing conflict.

 

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